My Valentine relationship...

Oh yeah… it’s Valentine knocking on our doors all over again this year… A day of passion for those in love, confusion for those in relationships that are still ‘hanging’ and of depression for those desperate singles out there (I say desperate because I believe that an unhappy single person can never find a partner, who would want to approach a depressive person anyway… but that is a subject for a whole different blog!).

And I? I have an unbelievable hate/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day since I was in my sweet sixteen years. I will not sit and give the all ‘classical’ excuse of those who claim they hate Valentine (probably because they never had a good one); the one, only and oh so repeated: “I hate Valentine because every day of the year should be a Valentine’s Day”.

Oh well no… Not every day is Christmas, not every night is New-Year’s eve, and not every morning you celebrate Easter or your birthday. Valentine? Well, it comes also once a year only, on February 14^th.  And while the celebrations are spread all week long, this day hold the fresh smell of sparkling ‘butterfly’ feeling.

The hate I hold within? Is for how commercial this day has become through the years; When I was 16, a girl would expect a big inflated balloon with a dedicated card for Valentine’s day.  As years passes, the expectations grew into perfume, clothing, phones, laptops, trips, wee-end escapades, etc… And in my eye? The holiday lost its genuine value, he one of expressing the importance of your partner in your eyes and life, whether you two are in love or not.  Valentine has lost the importance of sharing a special time with your significant other and caring enough to make this day special, and about you two.

A friend of mine told me a few days back that she would hate receiving “just a card” for Valentine.  Another one asked me what she should get her boyfriend for the same occasion. And from the bottom of my hate relationship I answered: something genuine, something from you to him: a card, a flower, a letter, a book perhaps or a scarf you knit, or maybe even just a special picture. Anything that is valuable. Valuable for your relationship as a couple.

28 lessons I learned in 28 years...

Somewhere down my 28 years, I read quotes and saying about the lessons of life... hereby are the 28 I consider my own priorities, the lessons I learned till now...

1. Life isn't fair. But it's still good!
2. Life is too short to spend it hating someone.
3. Everyone has a good and a bad side in him. No one bad. No one is an angel neither.
4. Everything can change in a blink of an eye but don't worry: God doesn't blink.
5. It's okay to be angry with God; He can take it!
6. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
7. The more people criticize you, the more they envy you. Those who really are better are busy being better.
8. Privacy is sacred. Cherish it...  Draw limits to everyone, no exceptions.
9. If you want something, go for it. Do not take "no" for an answer... Same applies to people.
10. Men and women come from one planet, earth. They are meant to live together and deal with one another; enjoy the coexistence.
11. Smile before you open your eyes in the morning; you'll see rainbows all around when fully awake.
12. Those who dare to show their tears are not weak; they are strong enough to face the eyes of those who think crying is a sign of weakness.
13. Frame every "disaster" with a: "In 5 years, will this matter"?
14. Believe in miracles.
15. Forgive; forgive everyone, everything.
16. Time heals everything, with no exception. Give time, time.
17. Do not negotiate your dreams. Wake up and make them happen.
18. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick, your friends will. Stay in touch.
19. Children are the gift of God to us. Make their childhood memorable. Make it better than yours.
20. A lost friend was never a friend at the first place; don't cry him.
21. If you don't try, you will never have an answer.
22. God loves you because of who and how God is; not because of who you are or what you did or did not do!
23. Whatever does not kill you WILL make you stronger.
24. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere (refer to #14).
25. Life isn't tied with a bow. But it's still a gift.
26. No matter how you fell: get up, dress up, show up.
27. If you don't ask, you don't get.
28. The best is yet to come.

The 6 packs I crave...

It’s on a very cold night of January that I decide to stay home on Friday night… Actually, the snow is falling on and off outside my window, I am having fairly long days at work and the view of the flaming wood in our fire place is simply irresistible; what more do I need to stay in? Something interesting to watch on TV perhaps? Therefore, I start zapping… movie, old movie, watched 10 times movie, political analysis, cartoons, Mr. Lebanon rerun! Interesting? Not at all but I’m nosey, so I stop.

Usually to write a critique about a program, you will need to watch the whole thing first, evaluate it from a neutral point of view, then start your writings. But as always, each and every rule has an exception and my critique today comes after exactly 12 minutes of program viewing… Everything seems Beauty Pageant perfect: the presenters look rather silly in their costumes, the artistic performance of the entertainer (Haifa Wehbe) quite interesting (guys will praise me for not criticizing Haifa here)… and the candidates? mmmm Mr. Lebanon? Why not! We elect a Miss. Lebanon every year and the girls always find a cause of good will to work on all year long, so why not elect a Mr. Lebanon who will represent the country in international competitions and forums, work for a good cause, proove to the public that a guy can be beautiful, good looking and smart at the same time…

Beautiful, good looking and smart at the same time… just like girls try to proove over and over again they can be elegant, attractive, good looking and smart. And they often succeed (hamdilla!).

 

I usually rant a lot about not having time to always look perfect: hair, make-up, waxing, clothing, accessorizing, etc… A girl need a good hour or hour and a half per day to come out with a perfect result… which leaves her 22 other hours for fun, education, work and sleep… Not enough I keep saying… Not enough I kept saying until I had a good look at the Mr. Lebanon participants.

 

With bodies to (honestly) melt for… I pause to think: We girls usually melt for men who hold such perfect bodies, well built muscles, six packs, etc… but we also know we need to spend an hour per day exercising to have perfect abs… As for 6 packs and all that comes with it, a man (and according to my humble calculations, little reading and knowledge) needs 3 hours of exercise a day with a very strict diet to reach this stage of body perfection… and of course, just like a girl, a guy needs to take care of his skin, face, shaving, clothing, accessorizing even sometimes… adding one more hour to his physical daily agenda and leaving him with 20 hours for other activities.

 

I am not sure I can explain my point of view here and though I do believe in certain equality between men and women (in their rights!), I cannot accept a man who will spend more time than I do to groom himself!

6 packs? They are to crack for, I can’t deny… But I cant help wonder what a person who spends 3 hours a day in a gymnasium room will have to talk about at the end of his day… it’s not like he exercises to maintain a good body, no! He exercises to create and sculpt a certain image; a muscles image…

 

My preference? The boys I dated before, the one I date now, the one that might come after… Those who take time to educate the muscles of their minds.  The 6 packs I crave for in a man? The ones that lay in the brains!

Another wrecked Monday

On Mondays, I drag myself out of bed… Hanging in between last week’s tiredness, the week-end’s hangover, the morning cold and the thought of the busy day ahead, I just don’t want to move. So I pull myself together, turn my alarm off (after snoozing it several times) and sit under the covers… it’s too cold, I’ll lay down again and think about what to wear while in bed: How about a blue jeans with a black sweater? mmmmmm not a catch, I’m not a big jeans fan! A dress? It’s too cold for that! My new purple top? It’s Monday, I’m not in the mood of wearing something new! Okay then… anything that matches with any other thing! That black legging with the top I truly hate and wish to get rid off! DONE!

Looking back at my clock, I realize I can still nap for 10 minutes.  A new alarm is set and off I go to 10 more minutes of sleep! 1,2,…. **alarm goes on** Already?! I wonder how 10 minutes can run this fast when I need them most! It’s as if my clock looks at me and thinks to itself: “Oh boy, you really need the sleep because I’m about to run a marathon and make 10 minutes pass as only one!”.

Just 3 minutes before I should leave the house and get to the office on time, I finally jump out of bed to discover my room is fully heated because of both: the central heating system in the house and the heating unit in my room. The cold must be all in my head.

A quick freshening, facial basics, tooth brushing and hair lifting, I slip into my clothes and run to the car…

Though the weather is almost perfect outside for a winter morning and my clothes are quite warm.  Though I got to work on time regardless of my laziness in bed and found my Nescafe ready and warm on my desk.  Though I had no arguments the past 24 hours with people I really care about….

I simply could not consider this morning a good morning… It was simply another, wrecked, Monday morning!  For unknown reason… Moreover for one known reason: It's Monday!

Re-defining "Privacy"

From the Latin word “privatus”, privacy is being separated from the rest; it is, in fact, the ability of an individual to be part of a group of people while scheduling the information he shares about himself and therefore revealing oneself selectively.

While this definition is widely spread in the western world (where they barely ask you if you are married or single when applying to a new job), our eastern society highly suffers from its non-existence.

From your parents name, age, marital status, work, friends, activities… to your name, age, marital status (sometimes even sexual status); everything is subject of questioning except the subject itself.

How? Well it’s simple!

At job interviews, they ask you about everything except your aims, goals, or the way your draw your career path (as you see it).  At family visits, everyone fails to ask about your latest news and activities.  At friends gatherings, everyone wants to hear the latest of your relationship with your significant other (boyfriend/girlfriend).  But the essence? Oh well… that’s up in the air!

Going back to the dictionary and looking closely at what privacy means, I came to discover (and to my own pleasure rub it up some people’s faces) what privacy is all about!
It’s not that I ever doubted my belief of the definition of this word, but well… with stubborn people all around (who think they are always right), such a definition came of great help!

Being private is not being secret about our lives. It is simply choosing what to tell and what to keep for ourselves. From what you do during your free time at work, to what activities you do after work, who you date, what you share, who you have coffee with, who sleeps over, who you tell your secrets to, who you share your fears with, etc.  Your own choices are your own privacy.

My life? Well yes, it’s private… What I do, don’t, whom I see, don’t, what I like, don’t… my choices, I make them all alone. Let’s say I live the western way in an eastern entourage... for those who wonder why, I highly advise to check out few of my previous blogs and read between the lines.  There is always a good lesson there, somewhere ;)

Happy 2012!

It’s THAT time of year (again) when we sit to write down the New-Year’s resolutions.  A few days before the beginning of the New-Year, we should all have our list ready (and we’ll follow it, as usual, for one week or 12 after “les 12 coups de minuit”).

Me? I’m no different! But my list, I’ll follow it for the full year of 2012. Yes, I will!

Me? I just want to make a difference…

This New-Year, I will not start it with a diet!

You see, since I want to make a difference and succeed in all my resolutions, I need to be realistic! With all the festivities and my Birthday coming up in the first week of February (save the date people!), I do not want to bluff myself (and everyone around me) and resolve to start a diet (that I will end up failing); therefore, w min el ekhir, I will not start my New-Year with a diet!

In 2012, I will not register at the new Gym…

Just like the (always failed) diet plan, I realize now (it’s mature that I realize, no?) that the money I spend at the beginning of every year on gym registration is lost money; I would rather spend these amount on winter sales shopping; it starts with the New-Year after all, no?

I’m making peace with my old enemy… chocolate!

There is a famous saying that goes: “There is more to life than chocolate, but not right now”.  And I kind of like it.  Therefore, I won’t complicate my life, I’ll simply not give up on chocolate and indulge myself with its bits and pieces anytime and anywhere.  I’ll publicly enjoy my resolution instead of claiming to be on a diet and eat chocolate, in the kitchen, while no one is watching.

In 2012, I am staying away from my family.

The quality time I need is with my son, mom, dad and friends. Why bluff and say I miss my aunt and uncle and can’t stand living without them? I love them, yes. We’re blood related after all.  But the real quality time I need is definitely not with them. So for everyone who fits into that category: so long guys, I’ll see you at weddings and funerals (may they not be many) and for coffee in 2013 perhaps. I might be missing you by then!

I will stop being lazy on my days off!

Instead of sending the full day in bed (when my son is not home of course), I will start doing an effort to move out of bed, with my blanket, to the TV room and watch a full movie without falling asleep! Who can top such energy?

I will start to be creative at work…

You know, handling a newly launched blog and launching my book writing have been such an exhaustion to me in the past few months that I am highly failing to keep it up and be creative at work. And my boss? Oh well, I’m noticing he’s starting to get bored from the same old excuse.  For this, and in order to keep my position at the office, I will make an effort to be more creative with my absence excuses at work; so long to the flat tire and migraine! (for my co-workers who are reading, chill guys… it’s just a joke for the sake of the blog).

I’ll focus on 1 chatting operator when talking to my friends

Seriously now, I, myself, sometimes wonder why I need to message the same person on MSN, BBM, Whatsapp, FB inbox, FB chat and e-mail him/her at the same time to say the same thing! And if helshe doesn’t reply, I would text to make a missed call (to both phone numbers… all Lebanese carry around 2 phone numbers) to grab his/her attention!  This year, all of this will stop, I’ll learn to stick to one and only medium and make the most out of it. Okay, maybe 2 or 3!

 

In 2012, I won’t worry much.

I’ll read more.

I’ll write more.

I’ll blog more.

I’ll finish my book (yeah right! *whispers my corrector*).

I won’t be moody –no wait, I’ll still be a girl, I got to be moody!-.

I’ll cut my hair.

I’ll grow my hair.

I’ll take-up a new habit.

Okay, I just chose my new habit!

I will, for once, stick to my New-Year resolutions!

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

It’s this time of year again where I ask about you and send you a list of the gifts I expect to find under my Christmas tree. So I sit down to write to you, once again, my wish list.

Over the past few years, I realized how bad of a person I can be! I never ask about you or mail you unless it’s Christmas time.  The rest of the year, I forget your existence… well almost! In November I start being a “good girl” to reach Christmas all pure and angelic and receive what I ask for.

But it seems that your definition of “good” and mine do not match, not a little bit… not even at all!

The last thing I received from you, according to my list, was that huge Barbie doll house when I was 10. 

After it you missed the magic make-up kit, the prince charming, the prince charming with a Porsche car, the perfect man, the eternal beauty, the car, the perfect girl-friends, the perfect boy-friend, the million dollars bank account, the winning lottery ticket, the dream job that starts at 12pm and ends at 3pm, the fancy wardrobe, the unlimited shoes collection, etc…

This year, I address you with a very special request: Can you please send me the definition of “good” according to which you, Santa Claus, judge, us humans, yearly?

For all that I know: I respect my parents even if we argue daily, but it’s through arguments that better relationships are built, no? I do not kill, humans nor reputations. I do not hurt, enemies nor friends. I do not talk behind anyone’s back. I believe in Karma, yes; but I do not work on making it happen. When someone hurts me, I do not react. I sit and pray for him to recognize his mistake. When a boy breaks my heart, I wish him all the good of the world. When a girl backstabs me, I just take my distances without breaking our friendship. When people talk about me behind my back, I just think they are jealous and think by babbling they will ruin the reputation I have. When someone who hurt me asks for my friendship back, I welcome him with open arms. When I am having a bad day at work, I do not wish my boss dies in a car crash. When I am wrong I admit it because I expect people to forgive me, like I forgive them. When I love I love deeply. When I break-up, it takes me almost as long as a “facelift” to get over the relationship. I don’t desire what is not mine. I don’t lie (funny yes but I can’t fall asleep at night if I lie).

So Santa, I ask you… If the above is not the definition of being “good”, then what is?