Nov 10, 2015

Men, women - and faithfulness

People come to me for relationship advise, and by people I mean friends, friends of friends and even acquaintances. 
I’ve been single for quite some time though and I don’t know how they can trust someone who is single to advise them about relationships, but they do… and (most of the time) it works!
I am not sure if it’s my divorce, or my calmness and patience when it comes to listening and giving advice, or my “weird” interest in the difference between men and women and their different ways of thinking, or even my “weirder” stance on taking the man’s side first in any argument, but I’m apparently turning into the Carrie Bradshaw of the people around me. 

And since I decided to go back to blogging when I have time, I was pushed to write about men, women and relationships.

Being amused with the push and intrigued by relationships, I decided to play the role of Carrie Bradshaw on my blog, from time to time.

Now back to our main blog subject: Men, Women - and faithfulness…

I believe in fairytales, prince charming, la vie en rose and happy endings. I’m a girl, who can blame me?
But above all, I believe in monogamy.

Intrigued by the high level of unfaithfulness between couples, even those around me, I decided to prepare a small research based on which I came up with this post:
Men and women both cheat, each in a different way and each for a different reason.

Women will want to kill me first, so I’ll start by them before moving to the “other sex”. Oh yes, you fellow gender folks, you cheat too (since most women deny it… 3atoul el rijjeil only does it).
Looking deeper into the matter, I learned that women cheat because of a bad dispute in their relationship (because obviously splitting is not an option, 3ayb el jorsa!), or because of a lack of attention from their partner (because seeking attention elsewhere will solve their problem); they also cheat because of lack of support from their partner (because yet again communication is not an option and seeking outside attention seems like the perfect solution) and last (but of course not least) because of lack of sexual intimacy in their couple (you know, because it’s “3ayb” to approach her partner herself and show desire. Ya 3ayb el choum! Chou baddo y2oul 3anné no way…. Biste7é otloub chi gheir une parure de diamant dernier cri de chez Tiffany moi!).

While the men reading this were surely amused by the above and are probably smirking at their partner now with the biggest “women cheat honey, see?” look, I can’t deny that the answers I got when I asked the men around me why they cheat (or might cheat) were outrageous! Seriously guys? In fact, I’ve been hearing that you cheat because she gained too much weight and doesn’t look appealing anymore (well I have to admit that when anyone turns from a size zero to a size 20, it is normal this person is not appealing any longer…. So I’ll pass this one!) and that you cheat because you can (straight to the point here!), because its’ thrilling (yeah because you think cheating is easier than being committed) and because your partner is not good enough or does not satisfy you, whether emotionally or physically or both (and I wonder what you are still doing with her!).

I believe in monogamy alright. I believe that it takes two to build and ruin any relationship. That perfection does not exist. That faultless relationships are the fruit of Disney stories.
I believe that if you are with someone, you do an effort to be faithful, talk your issues out and solve the matters. And I believe that life is too short to spend it with the wrong person and that breaking up can always be an option.

Above all, I believe in respect. And I believe that if you cheat you lack respect. Not the respect of your partner. Not your self-respect. No. your respect to yourself. Yes, if you cheat you simply don’t respect and love yourself enough to pull out and away from a relationship that is obviously not fulfilling to you, and search for another that could be perfect, or at least worked on.

A golden rule to remember here:
Cheating is thrilling? It gives you an adrenaline rush? No my dears. Cheating is easy.
You want a thrilling challenge? Be faithful. That’s a hard one!

1 comment:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.