Feb 15, 2016

Men, Women - Redefining Love

When I first decided to blog about Valentine, I wanted to blog about gifts and celebrations.

In fact, I wanted to blog about the reasons behind the need girls feel to celebrate the occasion, and the reason that makes them ignore their partners ongoing comments that sound like: “We can celebrate love every day, what makes Valentine so special”.
(I’ll answer that one for you guys: Valentine is special simply because you do not celebrate love every day; you do not take your girl out for a tête-à-tête dinner for no reason, do not send her flowers out of occasion, do not whisper you love her on a regular basis, do not pamper her with a massage treatment or get her a gift for no reason! Therefore, we girls end-up waiting for Christmas, New-Year, our birthday or Valentine to feel the “love”).

Now ranting put aside and sermon over, let’s go back to my main subject for the occasion: re-defining love.

When I divorced, my grandmother told me: Now, your relationship is over and you have failed a marriage. Both of you. But just like both of you cherish the memories and walked out with respect, you should both learn that a relationship breaks, all relationships will break, and in the future don’t take the easy way out. Mend the pieces.

I never wanted my relationship to be a patchwork of all the broken pieces. Through the years, I walked out of every relationship that had a tiny argument in it. For me, arguing never showed care. I wanted peace of mind. I wanted attention, without jealousy. Care without arguments. Possessiveness without controlling. I wanted a man who shared every second of my life without keeping me around all the time. I suffocated easily, walked away too fast. I thought setting me free was true love.

The clock ticked, days turned into months and months into years. And then I woke up realizing one day that each has his own definition of love.  Some wanted to feel controlled and suffocated.  Some wanted to be around their partners all the time.  Some needed around-the-clock attention. And some, like me, were different in their definition of love.

What’s love? (for me….)

Love is loving an imperfect person, perfectly. 

It is knowing the other’s flaws; it’s not about liking those flaws, it is about accepting them without feeling the urge and need to fix them.

Love is believing no one is perfect, including oneself, and not looking to change or change the other person.  

Love is being able not to let go, even when you want to the most, without feeling hurt or degraded and without doing an effort. 

Love is standing still, no matter what happens.

Love is feeling the same, no matter what happens.

Love is not needing to do an effort to impress the person in front of you, it’s wanting and desiring to do that effort to make that other person proud. 

It is not letting go, no matter how hurt you were.

It is lusting for a moment in each other’s arms without suffocating in the cheesiness of romance and relationships.

Love is living apart without feeling distant, it is living together without feeling suffocated.

Love is trusting blindly, giving effortlessly, feeling romance around the clock.  

It is sitting together in silence without feeling the weight of that silence. 

Love is not needing to hold hands in public, and not needing to prove the couple at events and not needing to attend all happenings together. 

Love is not searching for someone to complete you; Love is being complete, feeling happy and sensing full without the other person… but still wanting to share the moments with that other person. 

Love is not a need or a desire, it is not just an emotion, love is a decision. 

It is wanting to share your time together without needing to do so.  

Love is not giving-up on anything, it is giving into everything new.

Feb 3, 2016

32 Resolutions for my 32nd Birthday

New-Year is that time of year where we jump into filling our bucket list and write down new resolutions to achieve.
On New-Year I’m usually tipsy, partying and enjoying so I try not to take important decisions… I sleep on my upcoming year desires and come public with my list around my birthday, at the beginning of February.

Oh yeah! It’s my birthday this week… 32! What a (big) number!
And for those who believe in astrology don’t google it! I’m an Aquarius.  An Aquarian is the knows-all of the zodiac (we read, research, play inspectors, take over FBI jobs, whatever it takes to know it all!). An Aquarian is friendly, sensitive, faithful, caring, idealistic, patient, neat… but it’s important to point out that a high percentage of serial killers were Aquarians! Actually, between all zodiac signs, Aquarius holds the highest percentage of serial killers.

Now this being said, I sit down this year again to put my resolutions list that will serve from birthday to birthday; and since I’m turning 32, here goes my list of 32….

1- I will embrace every occasion I have to have fun and act childish. Those who think it’s immature lack maturity themselves!

2- I will love myself above everyone else because sometimes being selfish is the healthiest one can be.

3- I will eat healthy, but I will also have amazingly unhealthy cheat meals!

4- I will read a new book every month; subject, language, theme and thickness will not matter, I’ll just read (I currently am on an average of 1 book every 45 to 50 days).

5- I will try something new every month.

6- I will try not to go to the same restaurant/pub twice (this excludes some outdoor venues and beach resorts for the summer break); Those who know me know that I love to try new places!

7- I will hold an agenda; no more skipping gym for manicure time (Jeff will be happy to hear this!), missing girl’s nights for a date, giving up a movie for a forgotten birthday celebration I have. I will now hold an agenda and mark everything down, even silly Happy Hours drinks with co-workers!

8- I will achieve one dream; I already have my bucket list from when I turned 30… and in the past 2 years new things added-up to it. This year, I’ll start achieving.

9- I will drop friends and take new ones; dropping friends does not make me a bad friend or a bad person, it makes me mature enough to let go. At 32, it’s about time to let go.

10- I will become more confident. I will not succeed in everything, I know it. But I will fail in style. I will fail in confidence. And I will not break.

11- I will get a pet. My mother hates animals and I live under my parents roof. So I’ll opt for something that will pass almost unseen… suggestions are welcome!

12- I’ll take exercise more seriously. I’m now posting monthly about health, that’s the least I can do!

13- I will put my phone away during outings and will only hold it once for a souvenir picture.  The challenge here will be for my parents need to learn that if I don’t answer after 9pm: NO I am not dead yet, and the big/fat/mean wolf did not have me for dinner!

14- I will bond with nature. NO I will not go for picnics, I’m not there yet. But I’ll start some serious bonding.

15- I will engage in helping the less fortunate and the persons in need. I started already by raising cash in my circle for the Children Cancer Center during Christmas. And I will engage in other similar activities throughout the year.

16- I will volunteer, even if it is for as little as an hour a month.

17- I will plank every day (and no, this has nothing to do with exercising i.e. number 12).

18- I will watch one new sunrise each month and I’ll try to do it from different locations. I love sunrises. They mark the beginning of a new day, of a new hope, of a new chance at life.

19- I will get a piggy bank that I will open next year, for my birthday. Will decide on what to buy myself on February 6, 2017 when I open it.

20- I will plan a girl’s night every month at least. Random girls gatherings are fun, loud and crazy, even at 32!

21- I will learn how to cook new and non-traditional things. Let’s just hope I don’t burn the house down while at it!

22- I will spend weekly time with old people and kids; they are the most genuine of us all.

23- I will lower my debts and start saving-up.

24- I will go to bed early, before midnight, 4 nights a week.

25- I will give more and expect less.  This applies to life, family and friends.

26- I will do crafts; They are good to improve creativity, they are fun and above all relaxing.

27- I will go on a road trip; my options are not vast in Lebanon but nevertheless, I will.

28- I will search and embrace more crazy moments that increase my adrenaline level until my body starts aching from inside my throat. That’s what I call: living!

29- I will pray more.

30- I will embrace life fully.

31- I will not write a resolution list for my 33 years birthday. 33 is too long!

32- I will achieve each and every resolution I just wrote down.