Jun 18, 2015

Relationships are made to be worked on, they don’t just happen!

It’s been a long while I didn’t blog. I stopped, for no reason other than not having time between my job, my gym and my own personal writings.

And during that time, every little break I had and during which I thought of blogging, I thought it would be unfair because blogging means dedication, time, research and commitment. And I lacked time for commitment.

This morning a friend came to me to tell me she wanted out of her marriage and was filing for divorce; her reasons were quite simple: I do not think he’s into me any longer.

Being divorced myself, I don’t know why people believe I will be fully supportive of the divorce idea! Just like a girl with tattoos would be supportive of getting inked, or one with blue hair would be supportive of coloring your head in whatever color you would see fit!

And so, like a good friend, I picked up the phone and spent a good 15 minutes trying to reason the lady on the other side about her decision, reminding her that marriage is not an easy commitment and that divorce is not always a solution.

And it hit me! We live in a world where relationships and marriages are more and more becoming an issue of convenience rather that an act of sharing. People stopped investing in emotions. Everyone is busy around the clock, holding double jobs, if not three.

Guys don’t take girls on one-on-one dinner dates anymore; they are more like: “I like you, let’s go for drinks with the gang!” or “I think we should spend some quality time together, how about a movie tonight?”  They don’t write letters and buy flowers because “that’s not their style!” as if courtesy had style! And the cherry on the top would be if their girl dared to asked them about their whereabouts on a Saturday evening… what a clingy little kid they are dating, they should definitely plan break-up! (plan it, yes! because from what my guy friends confide to me, break-up is a full strategy plotted to transform a “normal” relationship to a “must-break-up” one, at most times).

Enjoying and laughing yourself out ladies? You are no better! And today’s call was just the proof of it!

Being a girl, I can’t really attack my “fellows” when they go and overanalyze their partner’s behavior; they are not spending enough real quality time with them (well maybe only in bed), they stay silent not to become clingy, they don’t ask for date nights not to become dreamy and God forbid, never ever say they like flowers not to be pulled back to reality and called Disney princesses. 

After all, it is dreamy for a lady to ask her man to take her for dinner, every once in a blue moon, to bond, isn’t it?

As I get ready to publish and post, I pick my phone up once again and call my friend to suggest the following: “How about you pick the phone up, book for a sushi dinner “en tête-à-tête” tonight, consume a good bottle of wine, walk around hand in hand and cuddle when back home? This does not involve nagging or pushing, it’s you taking the love of your life out for a casual evening. Plus, it will make you feel a lot better and you’ll run away from your silly divorce idea… maybe also he’ll get the hint of you wanting to feel wanted and next time, he’ll suggest such evenings himself.”  And the chocking part was her answer: “Do you want me to show I’m emotional and needy?”

I hung up.

Bouche bée. 

Not being able to utter one single letter anymore.

Hell yes! I want you  to show you're emotional amd needy if that is what we call, nowadays, wanting to spend some nice quality time to save your relationship. Hell yes! Yes and a million times yes! Show you are needy.

Relationships are made to be worked on, they don’t just happen!

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