Jan 19, 2016

Men, women – 8 basic rules of when he cares enough

Few years back, “He’s just not that into you” movie came out.  Up until that time, I used to listen to some of my guys friends when they gave their friends excuses for not contacting me back: You’re a beauty, you intimidate men - You have a strong personality Maya, it scares them away - They just came out of a bad experience and are scared to give a similar one a try… Excuses I embraced for years: I couldn’t have known better, my guy friends definitely knew what they were talking about!

Being a psychology freak, I had a thrust to understand men and wanted to always dig deeper into men and relationships.

And so, I decided to follow the movie steps and write my own list of 8 things to live by and that show interest and care:

8- Every relationship is new
When a person likes a new person, it should all start from scratch. It is true we all hold a package from our past but we also should be open to new experiences and new chances; no 2 guys are similar, no 2 girls are similar and even when put in the same situation, each would react differently.  Relax, don’t pre-judge, don’t compare and give it a chance!

7- Good girls are hard to find…
So when you find a good person, keep her.

6- No one is ever “too busy”
Ever wondered how your friend’s fiancé can pull out 2 jobs and still take her out for dinners, while the guy you just met doesn’t seem to have time for a 2 minutes phone call? Well… a friend of mine once told me: honey, all guys work. They also all go to bathroom/food/coffee breaks with the phones in their hands… Do the math sweethearts!

5- Compliments are never out-of-date
Simple, exaggerated or complicated, a compliment is never out-of-date and sometimes a simple word can replace a long conversation (in case he’s too busy with work, you know, he could have slipped a sweet word in the morning…)

4- A date is not a date until he picks you up
With or without a flower, do not call yourself dating until he takes you for a first tête-à-tête dinner.  Yes, those still exist in 2016. No, not only hopeless romantics do that.

3- There is no such thing as too early
Whether it is for a kiss, a week-end escapade, meeting the family or hanging-out with the friends; there is no such thing as too early when a relationship is well defined and the couple is harmonious. When you hide something it means you are not convinced with what you have (this does not apply to updating every social media status you got! Do not flood your Instagram and Facebook with pictures yet!)

2- Settle
I have heard enough of the long lists of desires and needs, and of not wanting to settle for less than what you think you deserve. Relax. Just settle. You’ll never get all those boxes ticked off your list anyway so when you like a guy hard enough, breathe in and out and just go for it! You might fall for him and your list of desires will change overnight, just like magic!

1- Say you care!
There is nothing more important in any relationship that stating your standing; whether it is obvious or not, remind the other person that you care.  Hearing the obvious reduces stress and increases trust and satisfaction.

Hey guys, the above applies to you too!

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