Feb 15, 2016

Men, Women - Redefining Love

When I first decided to blog about Valentine, I wanted to blog about gifts and celebrations.

In fact, I wanted to blog about the reasons behind the need girls feel to celebrate the occasion, and the reason that makes them ignore their partners ongoing comments that sound like: “We can celebrate love every day, what makes Valentine so special”.
(I’ll answer that one for you guys: Valentine is special simply because you do not celebrate love every day; you do not take your girl out for a tête-à-tête dinner for no reason, do not send her flowers out of occasion, do not whisper you love her on a regular basis, do not pamper her with a massage treatment or get her a gift for no reason! Therefore, we girls end-up waiting for Christmas, New-Year, our birthday or Valentine to feel the “love”).

Now ranting put aside and sermon over, let’s go back to my main subject for the occasion: re-defining love.

When I divorced, my grandmother told me: Now, your relationship is over and you have failed a marriage. Both of you. But just like both of you cherish the memories and walked out with respect, you should both learn that a relationship breaks, all relationships will break, and in the future don’t take the easy way out. Mend the pieces.

I never wanted my relationship to be a patchwork of all the broken pieces. Through the years, I walked out of every relationship that had a tiny argument in it. For me, arguing never showed care. I wanted peace of mind. I wanted attention, without jealousy. Care without arguments. Possessiveness without controlling. I wanted a man who shared every second of my life without keeping me around all the time. I suffocated easily, walked away too fast. I thought setting me free was true love.

The clock ticked, days turned into months and months into years. And then I woke up realizing one day that each has his own definition of love.  Some wanted to feel controlled and suffocated.  Some wanted to be around their partners all the time.  Some needed around-the-clock attention. And some, like me, were different in their definition of love.

What’s love? (for me….)

Love is loving an imperfect person, perfectly. 

It is knowing the other’s flaws; it’s not about liking those flaws, it is about accepting them without feeling the urge and need to fix them.

Love is believing no one is perfect, including oneself, and not looking to change or change the other person.  

Love is being able not to let go, even when you want to the most, without feeling hurt or degraded and without doing an effort. 

Love is standing still, no matter what happens.

Love is feeling the same, no matter what happens.

Love is not needing to do an effort to impress the person in front of you, it’s wanting and desiring to do that effort to make that other person proud. 

It is not letting go, no matter how hurt you were.

It is lusting for a moment in each other’s arms without suffocating in the cheesiness of romance and relationships.

Love is living apart without feeling distant, it is living together without feeling suffocated.

Love is trusting blindly, giving effortlessly, feeling romance around the clock.  

It is sitting together in silence without feeling the weight of that silence. 

Love is not needing to hold hands in public, and not needing to prove the couple at events and not needing to attend all happenings together. 

Love is not searching for someone to complete you; Love is being complete, feeling happy and sensing full without the other person… but still wanting to share the moments with that other person. 

Love is not a need or a desire, it is not just an emotion, love is a decision. 

It is wanting to share your time together without needing to do so.  

Love is not giving-up on anything, it is giving into everything new.

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