Dec 11, 2011

The friend of my friend is my friend, etc.

I stand in the middle of a fight between two friends and I wonder, whom side shall I take?
When one is wrong, it’s easy. You point his mistakes and support the other.
But when it’s personal, what do you do? Whom do you support?
Worst… when the fight is between them two and concerns them two only… where do you stand?

Someone once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who judge everyone according to their previous acts and people’s talks and those who think everyone is good until proven otherwise.

I belong to the second kind; for me, everyone is good until proven otherwise.

But aren’t we all half angels and half demons? Don’t we all have our positives as well as our negatives?

If two of your friends (a boy and a girl) are dating (one another!), and they break-up. Whatever the reason is, you’ll still be friends with both, right? If he cheated or she hurt him, it’s their problem. They did not match. They hurt one another. You might take sides or give your opinion. But your friendship is not affected with neither. Because you know that, deep inside, separated from one another, each of them is good in a way or another. And if they can’t tolerate one another’s presence and want to act childish after their break-up? Oh well… you see them in separate places, at separate times… sometimes without even telling the girl you saw her ex-boyfriends or vice versa.

Then why does it have to be complicated when two decide to break their friendship? Why do you have to take sides in the friendship decision itself, not just the fight?

I stand in the middle of a fight between two friends and I wonder whom side shall I take?

In the absolute middle, I say.
Not a step to the right, not a step to the left.

The friend of my friend is my friend. The ex-friend of my friend can be my friend.

But the enemy of my friend? Well he can never be a friend.

That theory, the one about not judging people for being bad until they have proven otherwise to us, is true… the one about everyone having an angel and a demon inside of him too… so is the theory of friendships being a match, like couples.

But we can’t forget the famous old saying: Learn (or at least try to learn) from other’s mistakes.


  1. What if the enemy of your friend is actually a good person with a dispute over something irrelevant? Just saying. Either way, yes, it's not pleasant to choose whose side to take, but those who do stay neutral like you, still end up getting a little burnt for "not taking a stronger stand" etc. I speak from experience lol. Bisous ma cherie, and keep them posts coming :) T

  2. You always give priority to your friends because friendship is just another relationship; if your husband (for instance) hates the neighbor upstairs, you and her can not be friends... You can be acquaintances though, maybe grab a cup of coffee, without your husband (not in secret!) from time to time.
    It's all about balance and priority. And the difference between friendships and love relationships is that in friendships, the priority is always what you want :)