Sep 6, 2011

Mon Liban à moi

This blog I wanted it to be about all “new” things, new notes, new feedbacks, new comments… But all rules have few exceptions and the following note is an exception.
Following a friend’s demand, I share with you: Mon Liban à moi

The morning:

I wake up early this morning, just like every other morning for the past few years, to go to work.  Outside, I cannot hear any birds singing; instead, I hear the neighbors fighting: the newlyweds are arguing because the wife can’t get along with her mother in law (ajéda hal m3attara 3a 7améta), the girl on the 2nd floor is arguing with her father for coming home too late the night before (wlik 3ayb ya papi, chou baddoun y2oulo el jiran!) and of course, my mother blames our house helper for everything (ya 3ammé leh ma jebo el mayy?!).

A deep breath and I jump out of bed… brrrrr it’s freezing and the heater is not working… again. No need to dig for reasons, my LebanON is OFF this morning and the generator can’t support both hot water and heating system.  Priority goes for hot water and shower, of course!

Getting Ready:

I run to the bathroom for a quick shower… very quick since we’re out of water (referring back to my mom) and it’s freezing (gentle reminder); and I get dressed.

Flats for the office are fine? No, no… focus and think straight Maya!*inner voice* “The girl who works with you had high heels on yesterday, and she can’t look better than you today too… opt for the high heels!"  To hell with comfort, right now I need to impress to go to work. Impress who exactly? Ok so: high heels, jeans and black top… black jacket… mmmm no way! I wore that one yesterday! Let’s try again: high heels, beige top and brown jacket? A bit better… a blow dry, a little bit (of too much) make-up and I’m ready to go to work.

The ride:

The car type of course reflects the “prestige” of the Lebanese society (even though I drive a Mercedes just for the love of the car).

I get ready for my 2 hours drive to work.  (You want to define traffic jam? Look at the Lebanese roads, Monday to Friday, between 7 and 10 in the morning! My grandma is the only person not driving a car out there!) Courageously, I face 30 harassments, 3 guys follow me to work, 2 of them have a car crash while racing on another to follow me... pretty cute!

Turning the radio on, I can easily choose between 3 morning shows, the classics: The first of them discussing the latest increase on the fuel tank price (eh oui! Didn't you know that in a couple of months, a fuel tank will reach the price of a Louis Vuitton bag?).  The second being the horoscopes (mmmm let's see what Aquarius says today, shall I continue to work or will I catch a flu or fight with my colleagues today?) and of course, the third choice goes to the eternal morning drama (the news!).

Politics, Society and Outings:

After finally arriving to the office, the whole team is discussing the latest political events. We cannot forget to mention here that each and every Lebanese (including myself) hold a doctorate in Political History and Analysis... and so, we can't really accept our diversities and we (the team and I, myself) insult one another for not following the same political party!

From politics we move to religion; Forgetting the beauty of our country, we can’t help it (unfortunately) but slipping a few: "chou baddik fiyoun holik" and "nehna minsalle gheir, sibhan allah", without forgetting the "leik leik baddoun y3amroulna jemi3 7add el knise!" and vice versa... (excuse me for being so blunt, I am stating what I daily hear).

And the outings!

Oh... the outings: from Happy hours to Shisha meetings and dinners (3 salads, 12 entrées, 2 main courses, a coca-whiskey, desert and fruits), an outing a day is a must! With my friends and the friends of my friends (whom I automatically add on my Facebook, through my BlackBerry phone as soon as we sit down)... I honestly end up on Friday evening too tired to party the week-end away... but hey! I've got to get ready and go see my best friend whom I have not seen the past 24 hours... Dans Mon Liban à moi, I have 100 gossips to share after 24 hours... and of course, phone calls are way too expensive for us to chat for a long time!

Where's the catch?

From politics to religion... arguments keep on increasing day after day; cultural events are almost 90% replaced by Starbucks and Gemayzé outings, the girls are becoming Barbie-like and materialistic, the guys are playing the Godfather role (each for his own family), the taxes are high, the fuel is expensive, the salaries are low... Almost everyone still lives at his parents place by the age of 30 because getting a place of his own is too expensive... We're addicted to technologies, forget about social life... The traffic jam takes away half of our day...

But hey! You want to know where the catch is?

This is my country... THAT is the catch!

Mon Liban... à moi


  1. I might not agree on the way you think "sometimes" (eventually no one can agree 100% with another) but woman I LOVE the way you write.... keep it coming.. mwah

  2. hehe, thank you dear! Keep reading ;)

  3. bit3a2id! bit3a2de!!!! chi bijannin 3an jadd. ktir habbeit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!