"All that is gold, does not glitter"...

Looking around me every morning, I see no great excuse to get out of bed; the weather is by far the ugliest at this time of year, as if "winter" and "spring" were in a continuous fight. While knowing that "spring" will end up winning, I still can not kick away the monotone thoughts of the winter season; it was long and heavy... so heavy my shoulders began to hurt.

Yet I move. Every morning as the sun is rising, I move out and spend a long day at work, followed by a newly established exercising routine, some outing with friends or quality time with those I care about.

I begin to forget about the heaviness that I felt on my shoulder that same morning. By 9 am actually, I start smiling again... The closer I look to what I have, the more blessings I feel. Everything around me is colorful and bright. Spring is just around the corner and the birds are just getting ready to start singing.

I sit back and think deeply into my feelings and latest reactions. Outside the window, the sky is full of grayish clouds. It's not as sunny and warm as I'm feeling and the birds are still hiding from the cold wind.

My feeling? It's just a matter of attitude. Of acknowledgment and appreciation.

After all, "All that is gold, does not glitter" and the pleasures of life do not always shine under our nose... We just need to sit back, relax and accept them in order to feel and enjoy them.

13 facts women tend to ignore about men...

I am far from being an expert about men or relationships and I am definitely not here to give advises to singles or couples about how to treat their significant others; but following a fairly funny conversation I had lately with a friend of mine about the differences between the way of thinking and reacting of both sexes, I sit down today and walk down the time lane to dig 13 big facts that women ignore (or choose to pass over and ignore) about men:


1- Men hate it when we match our dresses with their tie color.

2- Men do not take their phones with them during bathroom breaks at work to check on their girl.  Men do not carry their phones around in the house.  They do not text message when they are doing any other activity (drinking, eating, cleaning, cooking, sleeping, etc…).

3- On a guy’s night out, men forget they have a girl waiting for them. They might still be faithful but trust me, they won’t feel the urge to leave the guys and check on her!

4- Men do not like sharing “feelings”.  As long as you are together it means they are happy. When they stop being happy, they break-up.

5- The only engagement assumption a girl is allowed to have is when her guy gets down on one knee with a ring; long terms relationships do not mean you are engaged!

6- Men do not like holding hands in public; he’s not your little boy and he won’t get lost in the crowd!  They won’t like it if you call them names neither (if “baby” or “sweetheart” might pass public gatherings; “teddy bear” or “my super hero” definitely won’t!).

7- An over-caring woman reminds a man of his mother. It’s that simple (I know someone who will like this if he reads this blog!).

8- It takes a man 30 minutes to do his seasonal shopping and he does not enjoy picking your summer dresses for you (not even your lingerie!); leave him home to his work or video games when you do the malls!

9- Work time for men is like Spa time for women: sacred (therefore silence is appreciated).

10- Black, White, Brown, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, Red, Pink and Purple are the only colors known to men. Eggplant is a vegetable. Salmon is a fish. Banana is a fruit. And Spring is just a season around the corner!

11- Unless you are getting dressed for a wedding, men do not understand why you need a long time to get ready; coffee time, lunch, dinner or clubbing are all the same and an hour is more than enough to be ready. My advice? Train on a stopwatch; it can be done!

12- When your man’s phone is off it does not mean he is cheating on you (the battery could be off, the service might be cut out, the signal might be weak, etc…).  Men are good liars, when they want to cheat, they will do it properly and the higher probability is they will break-up with you instead of cheating. It’s easier for them to be free and enjoy than hide their joy!

13- When they go to bed, men want to sleep. Holding you tight, letting you sleep on their chest while they stay as still as a statue all night long is definitely not a form of sleeping.  Cuddle, kiss, hug and get away from them.  You might as well enjoy a fairly good sleep if you try it!

My Valentine relationship...

Oh yeah… it’s Valentine knocking on our doors all over again this year… A day of passion for those in love, confusion for those in relationships that are still ‘hanging’ and of depression for those desperate singles out there (I say desperate because I believe that an unhappy single person can never find a partner, who would want to approach a depressive person anyway… but that is a subject for a whole different blog!).

And I? I have an unbelievable hate/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day since I was in my sweet sixteen years. I will not sit and give the all ‘classical’ excuse of those who claim they hate Valentine (probably because they never had a good one); the one, only and oh so repeated: “I hate Valentine because every day of the year should be a Valentine’s Day”.

Oh well no… Not every day is Christmas, not every night is New-Year’s eve, and not every morning you celebrate Easter or your birthday. Valentine? Well, it comes also once a year only, on February 14^th.  And while the celebrations are spread all week long, this day hold the fresh smell of sparkling ‘butterfly’ feeling.

The hate I hold within? Is for how commercial this day has become through the years; When I was 16, a girl would expect a big inflated balloon with a dedicated card for Valentine’s day.  As years passes, the expectations grew into perfume, clothing, phones, laptops, trips, wee-end escapades, etc… And in my eye? The holiday lost its genuine value, he one of expressing the importance of your partner in your eyes and life, whether you two are in love or not.  Valentine has lost the importance of sharing a special time with your significant other and caring enough to make this day special, and about you two.

A friend of mine told me a few days back that she would hate receiving “just a card” for Valentine.  Another one asked me what she should get her boyfriend for the same occasion. And from the bottom of my hate relationship I answered: something genuine, something from you to him: a card, a flower, a letter, a book perhaps or a scarf you knit, or maybe even just a special picture. Anything that is valuable. Valuable for your relationship as a couple.

28 lessons I learned in 28 years...

Somewhere down my 28 years, I read quotes and saying about the lessons of life... hereby are the 28 I consider my own priorities, the lessons I learned till now...

1. Life isn't fair. But it's still good!
2. Life is too short to spend it hating someone.
3. Everyone has a good and a bad side in him. No one bad. No one is an angel neither.
4. Everything can change in a blink of an eye but don't worry: God doesn't blink.
5. It's okay to be angry with God; He can take it!
6. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
7. The more people criticize you, the more they envy you. Those who really are better are busy being better.
8. Privacy is sacred. Cherish it...  Draw limits to everyone, no exceptions.
9. If you want something, go for it. Do not take "no" for an answer... Same applies to people.
10. Men and women come from one planet, earth. They are meant to live together and deal with one another; enjoy the coexistence.
11. Smile before you open your eyes in the morning; you'll see rainbows all around when fully awake.
12. Those who dare to show their tears are not weak; they are strong enough to face the eyes of those who think crying is a sign of weakness.
13. Frame every "disaster" with a: "In 5 years, will this matter"?
14. Believe in miracles.
15. Forgive; forgive everyone, everything.
16. Time heals everything, with no exception. Give time, time.
17. Do not negotiate your dreams. Wake up and make them happen.
18. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick, your friends will. Stay in touch.
19. Children are the gift of God to us. Make their childhood memorable. Make it better than yours.
20. A lost friend was never a friend at the first place; don't cry him.
21. If you don't try, you will never have an answer.
22. God loves you because of who and how God is; not because of who you are or what you did or did not do!
23. Whatever does not kill you WILL make you stronger.
24. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere (refer to #14).
25. Life isn't tied with a bow. But it's still a gift.
26. No matter how you fell: get up, dress up, show up.
27. If you don't ask, you don't get.
28. The best is yet to come.

The 6 packs I crave...

It’s on a very cold night of January that I decide to stay home on Friday night… Actually, the snow is falling on and off outside my window, I am having fairly long days at work and the view of the flaming wood in our fire place is simply irresistible; what more do I need to stay in? Something interesting to watch on TV perhaps? Therefore, I start zapping… movie, old movie, watched 10 times movie, political analysis, cartoons, Mr. Lebanon rerun! Interesting? Not at all but I’m nosey, so I stop.

Usually to write a critique about a program, you will need to watch the whole thing first, evaluate it from a neutral point of view, then start your writings. But as always, each and every rule has an exception and my critique today comes after exactly 12 minutes of program viewing… Everything seems Beauty Pageant perfect: the presenters look rather silly in their costumes, the artistic performance of the entertainer (Haifa Wehbe) quite interesting (guys will praise me for not criticizing Haifa here)… and the candidates? mmmm Mr. Lebanon? Why not! We elect a Miss. Lebanon every year and the girls always find a cause of good will to work on all year long, so why not elect a Mr. Lebanon who will represent the country in international competitions and forums, work for a good cause, proove to the public that a guy can be beautiful, good looking and smart at the same time…

Beautiful, good looking and smart at the same time… just like girls try to proove over and over again they can be elegant, attractive, good looking and smart. And they often succeed (hamdilla!).

 

I usually rant a lot about not having time to always look perfect: hair, make-up, waxing, clothing, accessorizing, etc… A girl need a good hour or hour and a half per day to come out with a perfect result… which leaves her 22 other hours for fun, education, work and sleep… Not enough I keep saying… Not enough I kept saying until I had a good look at the Mr. Lebanon participants.

 

With bodies to (honestly) melt for… I pause to think: We girls usually melt for men who hold such perfect bodies, well built muscles, six packs, etc… but we also know we need to spend an hour per day exercising to have perfect abs… As for 6 packs and all that comes with it, a man (and according to my humble calculations, little reading and knowledge) needs 3 hours of exercise a day with a very strict diet to reach this stage of body perfection… and of course, just like a girl, a guy needs to take care of his skin, face, shaving, clothing, accessorizing even sometimes… adding one more hour to his physical daily agenda and leaving him with 20 hours for other activities.

 

I am not sure I can explain my point of view here and though I do believe in certain equality between men and women (in their rights!), I cannot accept a man who will spend more time than I do to groom himself!

6 packs? They are to crack for, I can’t deny… But I cant help wonder what a person who spends 3 hours a day in a gymnasium room will have to talk about at the end of his day… it’s not like he exercises to maintain a good body, no! He exercises to create and sculpt a certain image; a muscles image…

 

My preference? The boys I dated before, the one I date now, the one that might come after… Those who take time to educate the muscles of their minds.  The 6 packs I crave for in a man? The ones that lay in the brains!

Another wrecked Monday

On Mondays, I drag myself out of bed… Hanging in between last week’s tiredness, the week-end’s hangover, the morning cold and the thought of the busy day ahead, I just don’t want to move. So I pull myself together, turn my alarm off (after snoozing it several times) and sit under the covers… it’s too cold, I’ll lay down again and think about what to wear while in bed: How about a blue jeans with a black sweater? mmmmmm not a catch, I’m not a big jeans fan! A dress? It’s too cold for that! My new purple top? It’s Monday, I’m not in the mood of wearing something new! Okay then… anything that matches with any other thing! That black legging with the top I truly hate and wish to get rid off! DONE!

Looking back at my clock, I realize I can still nap for 10 minutes.  A new alarm is set and off I go to 10 more minutes of sleep! 1,2,…. **alarm goes on** Already?! I wonder how 10 minutes can run this fast when I need them most! It’s as if my clock looks at me and thinks to itself: “Oh boy, you really need the sleep because I’m about to run a marathon and make 10 minutes pass as only one!”.

Just 3 minutes before I should leave the house and get to the office on time, I finally jump out of bed to discover my room is fully heated because of both: the central heating system in the house and the heating unit in my room. The cold must be all in my head.

A quick freshening, facial basics, tooth brushing and hair lifting, I slip into my clothes and run to the car…

Though the weather is almost perfect outside for a winter morning and my clothes are quite warm.  Though I got to work on time regardless of my laziness in bed and found my Nescafe ready and warm on my desk.  Though I had no arguments the past 24 hours with people I really care about….

I simply could not consider this morning a good morning… It was simply another, wrecked, Monday morning!  For unknown reason… Moreover for one known reason: It's Monday!

Re-defining "Privacy"

From the Latin word “privatus”, privacy is being separated from the rest; it is, in fact, the ability of an individual to be part of a group of people while scheduling the information he shares about himself and therefore revealing oneself selectively.

While this definition is widely spread in the western world (where they barely ask you if you are married or single when applying to a new job), our eastern society highly suffers from its non-existence.

From your parents name, age, marital status, work, friends, activities… to your name, age, marital status (sometimes even sexual status); everything is subject of questioning except the subject itself.

How? Well it’s simple!

At job interviews, they ask you about everything except your aims, goals, or the way your draw your career path (as you see it).  At family visits, everyone fails to ask about your latest news and activities.  At friends gatherings, everyone wants to hear the latest of your relationship with your significant other (boyfriend/girlfriend).  But the essence? Oh well… that’s up in the air!

Going back to the dictionary and looking closely at what privacy means, I came to discover (and to my own pleasure rub it up some people’s faces) what privacy is all about!
It’s not that I ever doubted my belief of the definition of this word, but well… with stubborn people all around (who think they are always right), such a definition came of great help!

Being private is not being secret about our lives. It is simply choosing what to tell and what to keep for ourselves. From what you do during your free time at work, to what activities you do after work, who you date, what you share, who you have coffee with, who sleeps over, who you tell your secrets to, who you share your fears with, etc.  Your own choices are your own privacy.

My life? Well yes, it’s private… What I do, don’t, whom I see, don’t, what I like, don’t… my choices, I make them all alone. Let’s say I live the western way in an eastern entourage... for those who wonder why, I highly advise to check out few of my previous blogs and read between the lines.  There is always a good lesson there, somewhere ;)