I don't need a Prince Charming, I need a man...

As I was running through Facebook applications and quizzes, I thought it was amusing to take the “Who is your Disney Prince" test... And this is how I got to know the personality of MY Prince Charming:

“Your Prince knows what he wants and will go to any lengths for those he loves. He is definitely the romantic and will never fail to sweep you off your feet."

So it hit me...

The blurry thoughts disappeared, everything became clearer in my head and there I was: smiling, happy and ready to accomplish "mission impossible" and find that prince!

Oh… how I would like us to meet at a shopping mall where I would be window shopping for jewelry when he will approach me, hold my hand, drag me into the store and choose a fine diamond necklace that he fixes around my neck before asking me to join him for dinner… “But I’m in jeans” would I say… And this is when…

**REALITY SLAP**

CUT CUT CUT

My neighbor, just broke up with her husband of 10 years; she said all the jewelry, the trips, vacations, parties, etc… were amazing but she missed the shoulder she needed when she had a thought to share, a suggestion to make.

My childhood friend, has been engaged for 3 years now and even though she’s about to get married next August, she is very concerned about her husband’s family. “They are extremely nice but his mother asked me in front of his uncle last Sunday if I wear thongs or briefs, and he blushed instead of telling her how inappropriate her question was… What’s next? She’ll ask for my virginity proof and discuss with me sex with her son while sipping morning coffee?”.

And then comes another friend who is dating a much younger guy who cannot afford getting married now; she’s constantly smiling and patiently waits for him to get established.

And another friend who is dating the guy who used to be the ugliest between the guys at our high school, while she was crowned school queen for 3 consecutive years… With an everlasting smile on her face she explains: “The respect he shows me is one in a million, I never thought I would easily find a guy who would look across my physical beauty… right into my soul”.

One of my closest girl friends just informed me she is getting engaged. “I’m scared, he is lovely, charming, I have fun with him, we share so much, he’s honest, he lets me take all the decisions and do whatever I want… (and then it comes, the dreadful word) BUT I don’t know … I feel when we argue, it gets too intense! I’m happy he loves me this much!”
Few days later, we meet again for coffee....
“You know what? It’s not worth it… I’m not spending my life with a guy I cannot talk to… With time I’ll get old, he’ll get old… We’ll be too tired and sick to go out, we won’t be interested in trips no more, we’ll be alone, just the two of us... I need a man to talk to, a man to understand me, my needs... a man that will encourage me not to cry yet will hold me tight if a do; a man that will protect and honor me, not only look at ways to have fun with me and tour the world; I need a man...”

There it was; reality really slapped this time...

I won't be idealistic and say I won't like receiving gifts or going on a world tour;

I won't be stupid and say I would rather live alone with no friends if my husband was next to me;

BUT

I don't need gifts from a "Prince Charming" who cannot look at me in the eyes and say he cares;

I don't need trips from a "Prince Charming" who cannot stand up for me in front of the whole world and defend my pride and dignity;

I don’t need a “Prince Charming” who doesn’t know how to say no without hurting me;

I don’t need a “Prince Charming” who will let me take all the decisions…

I don't need a "Prince Charming" who will sweep me off my feet JUST because he's handsome, rich and caring...

I don't need a "Prince Charming"... I need a man.

(This post was originally published as a Facebook Note on July 28, 2009)

How to get more Instagram hearts.... (the begginer's way)

Who doesn’t want more followers, likes and comments?

Who doesn’t fall for those cute little red hearts that pop-out every time they post a new picture, quote or video?

But to get those, there are many tricks and tips to follow… read below for some!

-          Like “famous” accounts of interesting people, not just random people who have many likers: this reflects on your “Instagram image” and gives potential followers a push to follow you as you are an interesting person. So focus on people who have your taste in sports, fashion, politics, or others.

-          Like “normal/active” accounts: It is very important to like the accounts of “normal” people. Those are your likers. Keep in mind famous people, big bloggers or people who stock on followers and “buy” followers and likes will not follow you back or like any of your pictures!

Side tip: when you like a new account, like a couple of random pictures (old and new, not all in a row). This will make the owner of the account notice you, notice you went through the whole page not only new pictures, and this will add your chances of getting him to follow you and/or like your pictures!

-          Post pictures regularly and often: create your own pace at the beginning: once a day, once every 2 days, once a week, etc… later when you reach your Instagram goal you can start going by what you want or feel like

-          Use hashtags properly: the proper use of hashtags can make you “collect” followers randomly (place the hashtags in the comment box after you post the picture). Here is a list of hashtags you can use (use the ones that fit each picture you post):

#Monday #Tuesday #Wednesday #Thursday #Friday #Saturday #Sunday #Sundayfunday #funday #friends #family #creatingmemories #weekend #week_end #guy #lebaneseguy #girl #lebanesegirl #selfie #nofilter #beirut #lebanon

-          Make your account interesting and post different things: selfies, group pictures, family pictures, food, activities, etc.  kids pictures usually get the most compassion and likes and you can stock followers. Kids are cute!

-          Follow all your followers and all your friends from Facebook and twitter: your friends on Facebook and twitter are the most likely to follow you back and like your pictures. You will need time to create a “fan base” and get likes from random people

-          Unfollow inactive accounts and non-descent ones: YES! Sometimes you need to unfollow. You’re a guy, you will get most likes from girls. But girls will not follow-you and like your pictures if you only follow models and stars. Liking a picture on Instagram is a give and take. Most people will follow and invest in people who will like their posts back!

-          Do not post ugly and/or average pictures: Use all the filters you want to use, who cares! Instagram is all about using filters and creating perfect effects.

-          Like posts, regularly: once or twice a day go online and like pictures. As many pictures as you can especially those of your active friends. Don’t like ugly pictures, after all you are not desperate for attention. But do like nice pictures. If I see an amazing picture of a friend who never likes my pictures, most of the time I skip it. Many are like that. So like people’s pictures in order to get likes in return.

To your Instagram accounts! 1,2,3 go!

Let's talk about money...

I do not discuss finances.

Whether when I was a school girl, a university student or a housewife, I never discussed my finances with anyone.

I simply grew-up that way. My father never told me how much he made. None of my friends discussed their salaries and incomes with me, just like I never did with them. Discussing finances became such a taboo subject over the years!

Being the “rebel” that I was, I researched the subject and its psychological analysis and read articles all over the net about how important it is to discuss your finances with your parents, your spouse, your bf, your colleagues and your friends!

When it comes to money, it’s still “too complicated” and people tend to withdraw and close the subject. Apparently, it is harder to talk about money than it is to talk about sex!!! However, here is why it is important to open up to the subject and spill the beans:

1- It helps you manage your outings

No matter how big or small your salary is, how much money you make or how much you want to spend, everyone can afford a time out with friends and family. Talking about money helps you manage who to invite, when and where! You can now go for sushi with a friend who is a big spender and save the coffee breaks and the movie night for that other friend who just bought a new car!

2- It reduces disappointment… somehow

When my friend got a scarf for her birthday from one of her best friends, she was really upset because she had gifted her a watch for her birthday. Little did she know about her best friend’s financial situation and little did she know that this scarf was even more than what her friend could afford at that time! Gifting is relevant not only to your income, but also to your monthly fixed and important payments (such as car, housing, loans, etc…).

3- It helps you appreciate your entourage

Remember that friend you called thrifty for inviting you for a $5 coffee instead of the $12 Frappuccino? That same friend had only $8 in his purse and wanted to pay the bill himself. He offered you coffee and had water to be able to pay the bill himself. Now that you know the income of each, you can start appreciating the little things people offer you instead of judging them for the things they do not offer!

4- It helps you “evaluate” your friends

No one wants a cheap friend around after all… let’s be realistic! But you can’t really decide if X-person or Y-person is thrifty just by looking at what they wear, where they work or how much they make. You need to judge based on the ratio of what they have and how, where and when they spend it. So when your friend who has $12,000 set aside judges a $8 Latté as expensive, this person is cheap! While when your other friend who has $100 to get through 10 more days of the month does the same, this person is just managing his finances.

5- It will help you “evaluate” your own financial status

Are you making enough money? Are you spending it the right way? Why does your friend, who makes as much as you do, own a brand new car while you are suffering with the mechanics of a 20 years old model? Why didn’t your boyfriend take you out to the newest “posh” place in town this month? All those questions and more can be answered once the financial discussion stops being a “taboo” subject… you’ll even discover if you are underpaid or not without twirling on your own office chair wondering if your salary was fair!

Men, Women - The ultimate guide to understanding your lady!

Oh yes, you read it right! While many think it is (almost) impossible to understand us women and decode what we (women) say, and while the famous book of understanding women is not out yet, here is a very simple guide to understanding us!

1- No means No. Yes means Yes.

Drop the complication and what you read online. When a woman says No, she means it, there is nothing hidden behind her negative answer. The same applies when she says Yes.

2- “We need to talk” is not scary!

Women like to talk. A LOT! So when your woman tells you she needs to talk, talk to her! It’s not always about arguments and sometimes a two minutes talk will satisfy her for a full day!

3- Do what we ask… and we will not nag.

It is known that women nag, a lot… but most of the times, the nagging can be solved as easy as 1,2,3… For example, refereeing back to number 2, if your woman wants to talk, she will keep “nagging” until you talk or until you fight over her nagging. Spare yourself the nag and the relationship the argument. Talk when she asks you to do so and everything will be done in 2 minutes! Imagine… you just saved yourself from a full day of nagging in just 2 minutes!

4- It doesn’t matter how you feel if you don’t voice it loud enough!

We know you like us. We know you’re happy. We know you enjoy every second around us. We know you would have walked away if all that was not true. But knowing it is not enough, we need to hear it. And as stupid as this might sound to you, just please live with it!

5- Women DO compartmentalize

Unlike you think, if a woman comes home after a long and stressful day at work, she will not have her mood affected (when a woman is angry at home, she’s angry with you. Stop blaming it on outsider reasons / events!). In general, men are the ones who do not compartmentalize and let any argument at work affect their relationships in general, their social events and outings… I’m just saying!

6- Learn the “art” of understanding a woman’s anger…

What you read repeatedly online is so true. Now learn the following and consider it as important as your work guideline:

- When a woman looks sad and says nothing is wrong, please know that something is definitely wrong. Either refer to number 2 above or buy her flowers and chocolate.

- When a woman is sad and tells you not to as why she is sad, do not ignore her. Either refer to number 2 above or buy her flowers and chocolate.

- When a woman tell you she gained weight, pour her a glass of wine!

7- Not everything should make sense to you….

Just memorize the basics: it takes us 10 seconds to like/hate someone, 30 seconds to judge your family, 30 minutes to pick an outfit, 1 hour to pick a nail color and 6 months to change a hair-color/hair-cut. It will never make sense to you. It does not even make sense to us. But that’s just it!

8- Women are always late! (obviously because of number 7)

Stop getting upset with us every time we miss a deadline, a movie opening or make you wait in the car for a date out. Look at it this way: When a woman says she will be ready in 5 minutes, go, have a nap, and set your alarm clock to ring 50 minutes later!

9- Build yourself a circle of female friends

Between your sisters, cousins, female friends and her female friends… you’ll have a whole list of opinion options to “shop” from. Her closest female friends ususally can help best!

Last but not least….

10- As the old saying goes: Women are made to be loved and spoiled, not understood.

So when you don’t know what to do anymore, hug us, kiss us, and everything will be just fine!

The secret to my "around-the-clock" energy

I’m hyper. Well most of the time. 

 

A couple of years back I went and talked to a doctor about having ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder); not that I had any attention deficit but I was hyper to an extent it scared me!

 

A couple of weeks back someone told me I am definitely on something. It was a joke but it made me look back at my life style.

 

I wake up at 5.45 am on daily basis for work and took the habit of waking up at 8 am over the weekends. And I’m rarely home before midnight. My parents are concerned that I don’t rest. The guy I am seeing scolds me every night to get rest and sleep. And I never pull back, never rest and rarely take a break!

 

I always have something to do! Errands to run, shopping to catch-up on, friends to visit, social commitments to attend, exercising classes to join, etc. And when I want to rest, I often do it at a friend’s house, while watching a DVD and talking life out!  Busy lifestyle? Hell yes! I even learned to hold a calendar lately in order to manage my time correctly and have time to do everything I wanted to do!

 

I am even “accused” of never getting tired. Those who work for shorter hours think I am definitely hiding something. So I decided to reflect back on the reason behind my energy and write this post.  Maybe it will put be away from the accusation case and give others some tips to be more energetic:

 

1-      Don’t stress: as hard as this might be the first and uttermost secret for being energetic is living stress free. And trust me, nothing is worth it. Life will go on regardless of sickness, life problems, work issues, heart breaks and even death! (sorry to be so blunt).

 

2-      Meditate… daily (for few minutes): Whether it means you need to pray, read, practice yoga or look in the emptiness without any brain activity, having a meditation break, focusing on your inner peace will bring plenty of energy to your life!

3-      Have your "break" time on a weekly basis: Do it while reading, watching a movie, exercising, sleeping or treating yourself at the Spa; this will help you become more tolerant with people and enjoy life in a better way.

4-      Hold an agenda: getting your world all organized automatically relives stress and helps you enjoy your day more, as busy as it might be! Schedule your appointments and meetings, set your deadlines (and meet them!) and above all, mark your sleeping hours and do not plan anything during that time!

5-      Laugh! Find that one person who can relax you and draw a smile on your face and have a daily conversation with her.

6-      Live healthy: exercise, eat healthy, snack on nuts, have a piece of dark chocolate in the afternoon, don’t skip your caffeine intake (your body needs a dose of those!), and drink a looooot of water!

7-      Listen to music.

8-      Reduce alcohol: Oh yeah! Learn to enjoy life without being kicked out! You’ll enjoy it more and have a full boost the next morning.

9-      Socialize: you can simply never have too many acquaintances! While your circle of friends would always be close and limited, there is nothing wrong in having a gym buddy, a hiking group, a halophilic friend for beach days, a crazy buddy for parties, a brainy for book clubs!

10-  Donate: learn to donate food, clothes, money, time, affection, anything you can! Hug that stranger crying on the coffee table at the mall. Draw a smile and the world will draw a smile back on your face… and the more smiles you get, the more energetic you will be.

11-  Nap: As much as you hated nap times as a child, those 10 minutes breaks can be a blast!

 

12-  Fall in love as often and as much as you can: Engage in a relationship, love your friends, spend time with your family. That positive energy you get from feeling cared for and loved fills your body with energy and boosts your metabolism big time!

13-  Be happy! The happier you are, the more energy you get.

 

And then, once every week or 10 days, disconnect and sleep for a good 10 to 12 hours straight to power up!

The post about Girl Power

Few years back, I laughed when someone called me and the girls a “gang” and mocked our “girl power” relationship.  I myself sometimes suffocated by the extra sharing I had with my girlfriends.

Over the years, many things happened. Many girls fell out of my life, many other fell in.

I made new friends, lost others, became close to some, drew distance with some others.  And today I have those I call “besties” (best friends), others I call close, and my circle of fun hangout girls.  At 30, I chose who will be my Maid of Honor if I get married again, I chose who will be the godmother of my children, and I looked back at my childhood friends and promised a few I will always keep them as sisters (because those are the few with whom my relationship goes beyond friendships and girls circles).

But “that” Girl Power?

That’s my 1am call to my friend crying over the jeans that won’t fit.  My 7am call to tell her my crush is giving me a hard time.  Our 2pm exchange of lunch pictures. And above all that, the long minutes on the phone, each working over something, both silent, but hey! we are both hooked on that line and refused to hang-up! That’s our group hug after one gets married. 

That’s our group apology for the men and the husbands who accepted that hug, and our high appreciation for the men who will mark our lives and accept everything we are made of.  That’s to sharing each and every moment, as intimate as it might be.  That’s discussing every fear, as big and scary as it might be. 

That’s for the very long talks we have about our guys…

Side note (for the men to read very well!!!) :Stop believing us when we say we don’t talk about you, we do. We just don’t talk about our fights with you because we don’t want our girls to hate you after it.  Every girl can forgive the guy she likes / has a crush on / loves / marries… but her girlfriends will never.  So we just skip that part! And when you miss our couples outings, we always say you are stuck with something at work or with the family!

That's to wiping our tears away together. That’s for the tears of sadness, sorrow, worries and above all the tears of joy.  That’s for sharing the good and the bad.  

That’s for the road trips at 11pm to change the mood.  That’s for the sleepover.  That’s for the money talk, the make-up tips, the clothing advice, the emotional support, the good laughs, the tricks share.

That’s for the fights (yes we do fight. A lot!) and the arguments.  That’s for acting silly together in private and sillier in public.  That’s for the fun and the unlimited support. 

That’s for friendship. That’s for sisterhood. That’s for us, girls!

So voilà…

That’s what all the Girl Power is about.

Men, women - The First Date

Online connectivity, 24/7 chats, open-ended relationships, casual buddies, friends with benefits, everything, literally EVERYTHING around us is putting end, slowly, to that First Date night, that hype and excitement both a guy and a girl once felt.

But I believe in first dates. Today, in 2016, I still believe in those!

As a friend once told me: “A date is not a date unless he picks you from the house”… with a flower I might add!

Those who know me enough know that I am not an endless romantic person. I am rather a down to earth one. Of course I am sensitive and emotional but I also have a high sense of logic and logic.  Sometimes I might even “kill the moment” because I overanalyze and thinks things, out loud.  I demand and need a logical answer to anything. I set a timeframe to end an argument. I write the pros and cons of every conversation I ever have with a man. I ignore the cons when I am emotional of course. But above all those: I believe in first dates.

“Prince Charming” does not have to come on a white horse with a red flower.  But he can come with a flower or a chocolate box. Why not!

The home pick-up and first glimpse courtesy is definitely a must, no girl doesn’t like to be called cute or pretty (guys, avoid using the term “hot” on a first date!).  The dinner date, dessert, good talk and laugh can’t be replaced.  The walk back to the home door, good night kiss and hand touch are ageless and worth millions!

No, this has nothing to do with romance and non-realistic expectations. But living in the era of technology and non-communication, I strongly believe it is important to keep some basic steps of dating: the first date fuss, the one-on-one monthly dates, the quality time spent together.  All those intimate and “alone” moments that make the couple feel alive, existing and real! After all, there is nothing more annoying and unreal than those friends I see continuously going out in groups and discussing a potential marriage (sorry but all I can hear is a secret recipe to a divorce!).

So girls, dream big and don’t accept to be called a “date” unless you are treated like a real one.

Guys… it’s time you turn the game button on: go pick that girl of yours up tonight for a tête-à-tête dinner. It’ll be a blast!