Men, women - The First Date

Online connectivity, 24/7 chats, open-ended relationships, casual buddies, friends with benefits, everything, literally EVERYTHING around us is putting end, slowly, to that First Date night, that hype and excitement both a guy and a girl once felt.

But I believe in first dates. Today, in 2016, I still believe in those!

As a friend once told me: “A date is not a date unless he picks you from the house”… with a flower I might add!

Those who know me enough know that I am not an endless romantic person. I am rather a down to earth one. Of course I am sensitive and emotional but I also have a high sense of logic and logic.  Sometimes I might even “kill the moment” because I overanalyze and thinks things, out loud.  I demand and need a logical answer to anything. I set a timeframe to end an argument. I write the pros and cons of every conversation I ever have with a man. I ignore the cons when I am emotional of course. But above all those: I believe in first dates.

“Prince Charming” does not have to come on a white horse with a red flower.  But he can come with a flower or a chocolate box. Why not!

The home pick-up and first glimpse courtesy is definitely a must, no girl doesn’t like to be called cute or pretty (guys, avoid using the term “hot” on a first date!).  The dinner date, dessert, good talk and laugh can’t be replaced.  The walk back to the home door, good night kiss and hand touch are ageless and worth millions!

No, this has nothing to do with romance and non-realistic expectations. But living in the era of technology and non-communication, I strongly believe it is important to keep some basic steps of dating: the first date fuss, the one-on-one monthly dates, the quality time spent together.  All those intimate and “alone” moments that make the couple feel alive, existing and real! After all, there is nothing more annoying and unreal than those friends I see continuously going out in groups and discussing a potential marriage (sorry but all I can hear is a secret recipe to a divorce!).

So girls, dream big and don’t accept to be called a “date” unless you are treated like a real one.

Guys… it’s time you turn the game button on: go pick that girl of yours up tonight for a tête-à-tête dinner. It’ll be a blast!

Health and Fitness - Easy Tricks To Eat Less

When it comes to reducing your food intake, it is not only about the quality and quantity of food you are processing but also the habits you take before, during and after meals.

Therefore, I decided to list few easy tricks that can help you reduce your hunger and control your intake:

1. Drink water
I hate water. All those who know me know it drives me nauseous. However I learned that have a glass of water before and after each meal not only hydrates you but also helps you highly control your eating habits. Sparkling water is my life saver!

2. Wait 30 minutes before having a second plate
The brain originally needs 20 to 30 minutes to process the order of your stomach that it is full. Measure your meal, eat, have your water and rest. Before you know it you'll start feeling less hungry and at ease with the one portion you just had. 

3. Start with a salad
Colors are healthy. Have a lot of them! They are the easy/healthy/less calorific way to fill your stomach. Beware of your dressing choice though!

4. Find your body pace
Whether you pick 3 meals a day or 3 meals intervalled with snacks, try to find your own pace. I, for instance, learned that snacking doesn't work for me and keeps me wanting more and eating around the clock. 

5. Serve your food in smaller plates
Smaller plates mean smaller portions.  And no matter how smart that brain of yours is, trust me, you can trick it!

6. Don't eat infront of the TV
Especially not action movies!

7. Don't eat when upset
That's what we call comfort meals. And comfort meals never fill your stomach, they only work on the hips and belly. 

8.  Sleep well
No matter how many times we repeat it, 7 to 9 hours of sleep are a must. Sleep! As much as you can. You burn calories when you sleep too by the way!

9. Ditch the "Healthy Snacks"
As simple as that is: there is nothing called healthy chips, popcorn or variety of things to nibble on. You want to bee healthy? Go green and turn lettuce into your best friend! And dark chocolate is not less fatty than regular chocolate, it still has butter in it!

Now that the rules are set, say hello to a healthier you!

Guess what.... I'm high-maintenance!

High-Maintenance…

The first time someone called me high-maintenance, I freaked out! Those who know me closely know I am not interested in prestige, money, jewelry, designer’s stuff, etc. How dare he call me high-maintenance?!

The Urban Dictionary (only dictionary to my knowledge that defines the word) defines a High-Maintenance Woman as someone who “has higher than normal expectations; has a greater requirement for affection or attention; has more needs and/or demands and therefore more difficult or challenging. Doesn't equate to money or material possessions alone but may be needy in emotional attention and affection; picky, bratty, likes things her way, takes pride in her appearance, finicky. Usually very well put together and usually independent therefore requiring a lot out of a man to keep up with her.”

Now this being read, I flipped! Does it mean I am independent and reflecting a wrong image of myself? I never said I did not need a man! I never willingly disrespected a man’s presence in my life or his authority in a relationship. I had my flaws, yes. I tried to get things my way, of course yes!

But was I really high-maintenance? And was it a bad thing?

Life was sweet and bitter to me since a very early age. So I grew-up too early (though sometimes I sadly still act like a grade 7 student!) and I grew-up knowing what I want and refusing to settle for anything less.  I wanted butterflies, so I chased butterflies. I wanted crazy things so I chased craziness.  I wanted to grab childhood like a diamond treasure and I never let go of its innocence. I mess up like a child and apologize like a little kid who just realized he won’t have candies for the rest of the week. I am sincere to an extent I sometimes blame myself as much as it puts me in trouble. I can’t hide for long. I can’t sleep on a lie. I take blame for what I do and what I don’t do. I put myself in trouble just to be truthful and then find a way to get out of it. I try hard to be genuine and nice, not to bite back when someone slaps me in the face, not to turn in defense when someone backstabs me.  I believe in being nice to an extent that some call me stupid. And then I end-up being high-maintenance? What’s exactly so high-maintenance about me?

Sitting back and re-thinking things, I come to realize that when dining out, I chose the top restaurants in town; but that’s not because I am high-maintenance! That is because I rarely dine out and prefer to skip the occasional burger for a rare-cooked filet at the newly open French restaurant! I love French cuisine, what can I say?  Yes, I do wear two of the most expensive perfumes on the market but that does not make me a high-maintenance person! I do not shower in those fragrances; I use them moderately because I like them!  Yes I do invest in a piece of jewelry every once in a while, just like others invest in a Chanel bag; it doesn’t make me high-maintenance! I just invest my money where I see fit and valuable. I also do indulge in a massage session instead of coffee out twice a week. I do indulge in a good coffee instead of one on-the-go at a local donut bakery and no this doesn’t make me a high-maintenance girl, nor a materialistic one; I just spend my money in a different way than others and I see it fit that way!

No, I am not a high-maintenance girl in any way! I take pleasure in a flower bouquet picked around the corner more than one sent to me from Exotica! I take pleasure in a handwritten letter a whole lot more than a huge valentine teddy bear. I smile and giggle over a braided bracelet that matches the one someone would be wearing a whole lot more than I would to diamond earrings. And when I will get proposed to, I would care more about him wearing the same ring than I do, than me getting a 10 Carats solitaire stone because, once again, I am not a high-maintenance girl in the sense that people around me might define it.

But when it comes to feelings, emotions, passion and care… you can bet yourself I can be very needy, clingy and hard to maintain. I like to feel care, to sense it every single second. I give a lot into every relation I undertake whether it is a friendship one or a relationship once and I expect a bit in return.

Those who know me closely would even say I am more of a giver than a receiver, some other would call me stupid and silly for giving this much, while a few would say I only hurt myself by being such a giver because at the end, no one will see and appreciate and give enough in return.

High-maintenance!

What a high maintenance girl I can be at times. True. I do have a bratty character. I am strong. Opinionated. I don’t change easily. But I am also true. I apologize. I regret. I don’t repeat mistakes. I look at what’s inside the person rather than the outside. I care about how people make me feel and how they show they care rather than how much money they have in their bank account.

Because for me, being high-maintenance is a matter of give and take on the feelings and emotions part and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

Social Media basic rules...

Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter and I don’t know what else… Social media is having a huge take over our lives and even replacing day-to-day interaction. Add to it chatting mediums such as Viber, WhatsApp, BBM, Messenger etc… Our life is becoming a total mess!

But just like everything in life, there are rules and regulations to follow and below is a brief on what, how and why!

Rule #1

Be nice and respectful. Whether you are sharing a thought, arguing over a status or debating over a post, always be nice and respectful.  The image you leave of yourself on social media from behind your phone or your computer is the same and true image of yourself in public. If you’re offensive online, people will not approach you enough to know what you are like in real… and vice-versa.  Also, always keep in mind that chats tend to be less personal and more firm; if you feel it heating up with your loved one pick-up the phone and call – there is nothing more comforting than a familiar voice to put things back to place.

Rule #2

Be open to various opinions. Social Mediums are a place to share and exchange ideas, thoughts and opinions. Respect those who are different, embrace them and stick to your point of view without being offensive and disrespectful.  Not everyone has to share your political opinion nor your opinion about breastfeeding or drugs. Just like in everything in life, you have to be open and respect the opinion of others online as if they were sitting in a 5 stars restaurant dining with you; be classy in your debates and replies.

Rule #3

Use the mediums correctly:

- Facebook is for connecting with friends, colleagues, family members, meeting new people, exchanging articles, videos, pictures, memories, etc…

- Instagram is to share the moment in picture. It is NOT an album book. It is NOT ok to share more than 2 posts in a row. And it is NOT ok to flood anyone’s homepage.  I unfollowed you, many of your current followers will come next.

- Snapchat is to share the moment and act silly. Nothing is saved there anyway! (unless someone catches you with a screenshot. L’horreur!)

- I don’t know much about Twitter but I assure you that expressing myself in less than 140 characters is quite challenging.

Rule #4

Hashtags. #Stop #overdoing #the #hashtag #use #, #please #google #the #proper #way# #to #use #those. PLEASE!

Rule #5

Respect your privacy and that of those around you. As much as sharing stories, funny statuses, pictures, silly post and others might be, always keep in mind to do them in a classy way without offending those around you. And above all: STOP posting your fights with your boyfriend little one. If you took time taking care of him as much as investing in insulting Facebook statuses, you wouldn’t be fighting that much! Not to mention: it really is none of anyone’s business!

Rule #6

Do not use fake pictures. There is not much to say here but please don’t! Don’t overdo filters neither. But that is not the point now. You know we can google that gorgeous figure-like profile you just posted and we know it is Allessandra Ambiosso’s one, not yours…. So not yours!

Rule #7

When you hide, hide everywhere. When you are online, answer. That’s basic respect. Just consider you are sitting on a coffee break and addressing a colleague who listens then walks away silently. How disrespectful that might be! Drop a “TTYL” (Talk To You Later) or a “BRB” (Be Right Back) even if you would be back in 48 hours… Just excuse yourself.

Et voilà…. Not that hard is it?

They call it plastic, I call it beauty.

Being part of the 2016 society, I am also part of the millions of people who undergo plastic surgeries and cosmetics interventions every day.  

Now being part of the Lebanese society, I am just like each and every individual out there, I struggle daily with a debate of pros and cons related to plastic surgeries and cosmetic interventions. (Oh yes, almost every Lebanese, male or female, has done something to enhance his appearance).

While some might think the second part of my introduction here-above is somehow an accusation, I strongly confirm it is not. In fact, today I will share my own experience and point of view in relation to plastic surgery.

If we look at the definition of plastic surgeries and cosmetic interventions, we notice they vary from simple jobs like facial peelings that aim to increase skin glow, to more complicated ones such as breast augmentation and tummy tucks, passing by nose jobs, face lifts, botox and filling injections, teeth straightening and whitening, breast reduction, fat removal, cosmetic tattoos, etc…  and while such interventions can and may happen for apparent various health reasons, some individuals (women and men)  decide to undergo them for a major non-apparent health reason: the well-being.

Few years back, I decided to undergo a nose job.  My decision was mainly faced by a wide opposition from many family members, friends and even plastic surgeons.  Not that I have a weak personality or that I let myself get affected by what other people think i should and should not do, but after all the negative vibes I got out there, especially from professionals who thought I did not need to reconstruct my nose, I kept postponing my surgery.

Then one day In September I woke up deciding I just want to get it done.  To my “luck”, my doctor discovered that I have few complications that are increasing my migraine and breathing problems and urged me to undergo the operation right away.  Such urge came not to encourage me, but to shut those who were against such operation and reduce the negative vibes around me.

Today, at 32, I have a cosmetic tattoo on my eyebrows and a nose job done. I had braces when I was younger, a teeth whitening session and a face peeling.

Some might say I talk freely about my interventions because I am not a public figure therefore I am not a candidate for strong criticism.

The truth is I grew old fully and publicly supportive of cosmetic interventions when done right. I believe that one should do everything possible to feel good, and if feeling good is linked to looking good then be it.

I do not believe that a girl needs to lose a breast to cancer to have the right of implants without public criticism. Neither does she have to be a TV host to hide the wrinkles on her face.  A man does not have to break a nose to have it fixed without being called names.  And a twenty-something does not have to be a bride to have her teeth whitened.

Yes, I will have fillers when I need them and I will not hide it, just like I did not hide my nose job when I had it.

No, I will not have breast or any kind of other implants. At least not for the moment. And yes, if I ever go there, I will not hide and deny it.  

Why?

Simply because just like exercising, changing a hair color, upgrading a wardrobe, etc. any type of enhancement to the looks and body is acceptable as long as done right.

So for all of you girls and boys going under the knife and not looking like a walk-around Barbie doll?

Now for all the Barbie and Ken lookalikes, honestly people, I pity you! Beauty interventions are here to enhance what you look like, not change you to look nothing like what you were.

Now, peace out ;)

Men, Women - Redefining Love

When I first decided to blog about Valentine, I wanted to blog about gifts and celebrations.

In fact, I wanted to blog about the reasons behind the need girls feel to celebrate the occasion, and the reason that makes them ignore their partners ongoing comments that sound like: “We can celebrate love every day, what makes Valentine so special”.

(I’ll answer that one for you guys: Valentine is special simply because you do not celebrate love every day; you do not take your girl out for a tête-à-tête dinner for no reason, do not send her flowers out of occasion, do not whisper you love her on a regular basis, do not pamper her with a massage treatment or get her a gift for no reason! Therefore, we girls end-up waiting for Christmas, New-Year, our birthday or Valentine to feel the “love”).

Now ranting put aside and sermon over, let’s go back to my main subject for the occasion: re-defining love.

When I divorced, my grandmother told me: Now, your relationship is over and you have failed a marriage. Both of you. But just like both of you cherish the memories and walked out with respect, you should both learn that a relationship breaks, all relationships will break, and in the future don’t take the easy way out. Mend the pieces.

I never wanted my relationship to be a patchwork of all the broken pieces. Through the years, I walked out of every relationship that had a tiny argument in it. For me, arguing never showed care. I wanted peace of mind. I wanted attention, without jealousy. Care without arguments. Possessiveness without controlling. I wanted a man who shared every second of my life without keeping me around all the time. I suffocated easily, walked away too fast. I thought setting me free was true love.

The clock ticked, days turned into months and months into years. And then I woke up realizing one day that each has his own definition of love.  Some wanted to feel controlled and suffocated.  Some wanted to be around their partners all the time.  Some needed around-the-clock attention. And some, like me, were different in their definition of love.

What’s love? (for me….)

Love is loving an imperfect person, perfectly. 

It is knowing the other’s flaws; it’s not about liking those flaws, it is about accepting them without feeling the urge and need to fix them.

Love is believing no one is perfect, including oneself, and not looking to change or change the other person.  

Love is being able not to let go, even when you want to the most, without feeling hurt or degraded and without doing an effort. 

Love is standing still, no matter what happens.

Love is feeling the same, no matter what happens.

Love is not needing to do an effort to impress the person in front of you, it’s wanting and desiring to do that effort to make that other person proud. 

It is not letting go, no matter how hurt you were.

It is lusting for a moment in each other’s arms without suffocating in the cheesiness of romance and relationships.

Love is living apart without feeling distant, it is living together without feeling suffocated.

Love is trusting blindly, giving effortlessly, feeling romance around the clock.  

It is sitting together in silence without feeling the weight of that silence. 

Love is not needing to hold hands in public, and not needing to prove the couple at events and not needing to attend all happenings together. 

Love is not searching for someone to complete you; Love is being complete, feeling happy and sensing full without the other person… but still wanting to share the moments with that other person. 

Love is not a need or a desire, it is not just an emotion, love is a decision. 

It is wanting to share your time together without needing to do so.  

Love is not giving-up on anything, it is giving into everything new.

32 Resolutions for my 32nd Birthday

New-Year is that time of year where we jump into filling our bucket list and write down new resolutions to achieve.

On New-Year I’m usually tipsy, partying and enjoying so I try not to take important decisions… I sleep on my upcoming year desires and come public with my list around my birthday, at the beginning of February.

Oh yeah! It’s my birthday this week… 32! What a (big) number!

And for those who believe in astrology don’t google it! I’m an Aquarius.  An Aquarian is the knows-all of the zodiac (we read, research, play inspectors, take over FBI jobs, whatever it takes to know it all!). An Aquarian is friendly, sensitive, faithful, caring, idealistic, patient, neat… but it’s important to point out that a high percentage of serial killers were Aquarians! Actually, between all zodiac signs, Aquarius holds the highest percentage of serial killers.

Now this being said, I sit down this year again to put my resolutions list that will serve from birthday to birthday; and since I’m turning 32, here goes my list of 32….

1- I will embrace every occasion I have to have fun and act childish. Those who think it’s immature lack maturity themselves!

2- I will love myself above everyone else because sometimes being selfish is the healthiest one can be.

3- I will eat healthy, but I will also have amazingly unhealthy cheat meals!

4- I will read a new book every month; subject, language, theme and thickness will not matter, I’ll just read (I currently am on an average of 1 book every 45 to 50 days).

5- I will try something new every month.

6- I will try not to go to the same restaurant/pub twice (this excludes some outdoor venues and beach resorts for the summer break); Those who know me know that I love to try new places!

7- I will hold an agenda; no more skipping gym for manicure time (Jeff will be happy to hear this!), missing girl’s nights for a date, giving up a movie for a forgotten birthday celebration I have. I will now hold an agenda and mark everything down, even silly Happy Hours drinks with co-workers!

8- I will achieve one dream; I already have my bucket list from when I turned 30… and in the past 2 years new things added-up to it. This year, I’ll start achieving.

9- I will drop friends and take new ones; dropping friends does not make me a bad friend or a bad person, it makes me mature enough to let go. At 32, it’s about time to let go.

10- I will become more confident. I will not succeed in everything, I know it. But I will fail in style. I will fail in confidence. And I will not break.

11- I will get a pet. My mother hates animals and I live under my parents roof. So I’ll opt for something that will pass almost unseen… suggestions are welcome!

12- I’ll take exercise more seriously. I’m now posting monthly about health, that’s the least I can do!

13- I will put my phone away during outings and will only hold it once for a souvenir picture.  The challenge here will be for my parents need to learn that if I don’t answer after 9pm: NO I am not dead yet, and the big/fat/mean wolf did not have me for dinner!

14- I will bond with nature. NO I will not go for picnics, I’m not there yet. But I’ll start some serious bonding.

15- I will engage in helping the less fortunate and the persons in need. I started already by raising cash in my circle for the Children Cancer Center during Christmas. And I will engage in other similar activities throughout the year.

16- I will volunteer, even if it is for as little as an hour a month.

17- I will plank every day (and no, this has nothing to do with exercising i.e. number 12).

18- I will watch one new sunrise each month and I’ll try to do it from different locations. I love sunrises. They mark the beginning of a new day, of a new hope, of a new chance at life.

19- I will get a piggy bank that I will open next year, for my birthday. Will decide on what to buy myself on February 6, 2017 when I open it.

20- I will plan a girl’s night every month at least. Random girls gatherings are fun, loud and crazy, even at 32!

21- I will learn how to cook new and non-traditional things. Let’s just hope I don’t burn the house down while at it!

22- I will spend weekly time with old people and kids; they are the most genuine of us all.

23- I will lower my debts and start saving-up.

24- I will go to bed early, before midnight, 4 nights a week.

25- I will give more and expect less.  This applies to life, family and friends.

26- I will do crafts; They are good to improve creativity, they are fun and above all relaxing.

27- I will go on a road trip; my options are not vast in Lebanon but nevertheless, I will.

28- I will search and embrace more crazy moments that increase my adrenaline level until my body starts aching from inside my throat. That’s what I call: living!

29- I will pray more.

30- I will embrace life fully.

31- I will not write a resolution list for my 33 years birthday. 33 is too long!

32- I will achieve each and every resolution I just wrote down.